#ID: 1860-11-12_article_2
#DATE: 1860-11-12
#TYPE: article
#HEADER: The first baby
#TEXT: ;;; The first baby;;; In a novel, recently published, occurs the following striking picture of domestic felicity, which old bachelors will read with interest:;;; If "the baby" was asleep no one was allowed to speak except in a whisper, on pain of instant banishment; the piano was closed, the guitar was tabooed, boots were interdicted, and the bell was muffled.;;; If Mr. Vincent wished to enjoy a quiet cigar he must go out of the house, lest the smoke might hurt "the baby," and lest the street door might disturb its slumbers, he must make his exit by the garden gate.;;; The doctor was hardly ever out of the house, not because "the baby" was ill, but because she was afraid it might be taken with some dreadful disease, and no doctor near.;;; If coal was to be placed in the grate, either Mr. Vincent was to put it in lump by lump, with his fingers, or Thomas must come in on tiptoe, leaving his boots below, lest the noise should disturb "the baby." Mr. Vincent must lie in one position till he was full of aches from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot; he must not turn over for fear of awaking "the baby." And yet surely he must not take a bed in another part of the house, because "the baby" might be attacked with the croup or might cry to have some one walk up and down the floor with it in their arms, and then he would not be within call.;;; In short, when "the baby" slept, the whole house was under a spell whose enchantment consisted in a profound silence and unbroken stillness, laying all under its influence.;;; On the other hand, when "the baby" was awake, the household was equally subject to tyranny, which seemed to be a condition of its existence.;;; If Mr. Vincent's watch chain attracted its attention, the watch must come from the pocket and be delivered over at the imminent risk and frequent smashing of crystals and face.;;; If "the baby" cried for the porcelain vases on the mantel, or the little Server card basket on the table, they were immediately on the floor or on the crib beside it, and soon afterwards in many pieces.;;; If it wanted papa's papers, either they must be forth with given up, or both baby and mother would concur in raising a domestic storm.;;; If any important paper or anything else was missed, when inquiry was made for it, the chances were twenty to one that it had been given to "the baby;" and, on all such occasions, Mr. Vincent's vexation was treated with merited indifference.;;; If, as often happened, after obtaining everything within its mother's reach, and breaking up everything that could be broken, "the baby" still cried immoderately and annoyingly, it was quite as much as Mr. Vincent's life was worth to express the least vexation or impatience.;;; He might be roused from a sound sleep, and forced to get up ten times in a night for something for "the baby," and yet a murmur or a natural wish expressed to know the necessity for all these things was treason to the household sovereignty.;;; The lawful master of the premises had sunk, like a deposed monarch, to utter insignificance, and became the lowest servant of the young usurper.;;; The mother was the grand visier of the little Sultana, and in her name ruled every one, herself included, with an iron rod. There was no law but the will and pleasure of the despot, and no appeal from her determinations.;;; And this was the woman that Abraham Glen had loved.;;;